Rachel

Rachel

Rachel, you ain’t got no knees
It’s sad I know but please,
Don’t worry ‘bout having them gone
You sold them, you know that it’s wrong

Oh Rachel you said some stupid things
As you sold that Russian your limbs,
You said you weren’t going to miss ‘em
My friend, she just wouldn’t listen, as we sang

CHORUS

Rachel you ain’t got no knees
Rachel, why did you lease,
Your left leg to a muslim
Your right arm to a Jew,
The Catholic’s an appendix
And the Buddhist’s your poo?
Rachel, Rachel,
your two limbs too few!

Oh kids don’t hawk out your joints
To ASDA for nectar points,
Don’t swap them for cider
Or sell them for a fiver

Or you’ll be like Rachel with two limbs too few!

A Bacon Sandwich Song

Oh Bacon Sandwich you're devine
you make me hungry all the time,
with ketchup you're delightful
and thick bread slices,such a mouthful

Oh bacon sandwich won't you be mine,
I want to eat you all the time,
maybe with an egg or two who knows?
I'd rather have you than a date
If it wasn't wrong I'd masturbate!